Happy Mother’s Day (a couple of days late)!
It seems fitting to do my little update today, especially since the whole past weekend was so awesome. We have a tradition of going to Park City and staying overnight with just “the girls” and then shopping at the outlets for Mother’s Day. It truly is a lovely tradition. This year we had a smaller group, and missed those who weren’t there, but we still had a great time. We used coupons and ate at two of my very most favorite restaurants (Fratelli’s and Bangkok Thai on Main). It was oh, so tasty, and it’s so much cheaper paying for just one person (especially when using coupons). We had a fun day shopping and found some great finds. Mumford got to come this year, and he was a super trooper. We didn’t get home till 11 pm Saturday night. I was a little nervous about how everyone (and the house) faired without me. I was pleasantly surprised to find the house clean, and the kids in bed. While I was gone JT and the kids built square foot gardening boxes, heart-attacked my bed, and made me an awesome Mother’s Day present. Maybe I should leave more often! Just kidding, Sweetie.
For many years I DREADED Mother’s Day, so I understand how un-fun of a holiday it can be. This year I had a really great day. I feel very blessed to be a mother. My heart has been very full the past few days. I just can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love my little family.
We’ve been working through some pretty intense stages with Bro. and Sis. Some days I feel pretty good about my efforts, and some days I feel like a complete failure. It has been very humbling, and I have felt more driven to rely on the Savior to help me overcome my own weaknesses and learn how to respond to situations in a more Christ-like way. I have been studying about parenting a lot in the scriptures and conference talks, and it seems like the last general conference, and our Stake Conference were directed to me and the struggles I have been facing. What a rollercoaster it is to be a parent of young kids. You can go from feeling feelings of exhilaration to devastation in the same day, afternoon, or even interaction. It is never my kids that “devastate” me, it is my reaction to their very normal behaviors that makes me feel so discouraged. I just want to be a good mom.
I really do love my life right now. I know this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. It is hard, but it is worth it. The other day JT and I were talking and he asked me what I would want to be doing with my life if time and money were not an issue. I thought about it really hard and realized that I am doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing right now. I don’t need more time; we have sufficient money. There is no other work I would rather be doing than being home with my kids.
I think it is really easy to “wish-away” stages and not live in the moment. I know I have that tendency, but I really don’t want to do that. I only get to be mortal once, and I only get to be a mom to my kids once. This is my one chance to teach them and influence them in such an intense way. This is the only time when I will be the center of their existence. It is a huge responsibility and can be very draining, but I don’t want to have any regrets.
I want to teach my kids to love the Lord, to be independent, to serve others, to create, to sing, to dance, to love. I know that as they grow older and more independent, and I become less influential in their lives, I will look back on this time with sweet fondness. I don’t want to murmur away the joy that can be mine now.
So, I’m trying. Everyday I try to do my best. There is a lot to do. I say that, realizing that my position is not unique. Every person on the planet has their fair share of challenges. For me right now, it is keeping all the bodies in my care fed, clean, and somewhat civil. It is a lot of work and I love it.
Giggling Mumford and Mom