Zerendipity

We're Moving...Really.

Posted by Heather , 4.25.2013 12:18 AM

About a month ago JT's company invited us to join them in the Sunnyvale office, or find a new job, as they are planning to to close the Utah office.  After a long, painful deliberation, we decided to do it.  It's been an interesting journey so far.  When we got the news, I was neck deep in nesting mode...busy planning how to arrange and decorate our current home in preparation for our little baby boy coming this August.  I was crocheting and doing prenatal yoga.  In fact, I was just thinking how nice it was to have a little break from any really crazy drama, and just enjoy the life we've built here.

One phone call completely changed ALL OF THAT.  We made all kinds of pros and cons lists, we looked at our financial situation carefully, considered all the important relationships we enjoy here, access to services and support groups, etc., etc.  I think I knew from the beginning we were supposed to do it, but I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO. I wanted to enjoy building my little nest in our little tree. Logically, we could talk ourselves in or out of it.  I nearly made myself physically sick "kicking against the pricks."  I don't know how I didn't get seriously dehydrated from all the tears I cried as we wrestled with the decision.

Then I read this talk by Elder Eyring "Where is Thy Pavillion?"  (Thanks for sharing, JT:)

"The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God but occasionally covers us. God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are, covered by a pavilion of motivations that draw us away from God and make Him seem distant and inaccessible. Our own desires, rather than a feeling of “Thy will be done,”² create the feeling of a pavilion blocking God. God is not unable to see us or communicate with us, but we may be unwilling to listen or submit to His will and His time.

Our feelings of separation from God will diminish as we become more childlike before Him. That is not easy in a world where the opinions of other human beings can have such an effect on our motives. But it will help us recognize this truth: God is close to us and aware of us and never hides from His faithful children."

1 And it came to pass that we did again take our journey in the wilderness; and we did travel nearly eastward from that time forth. And we did travel and ^awade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our ^bwomen did bear children in the wilderness.
 2 And so great were the ^ablessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon ^braw ^cmeat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.
 3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and ^astrengthenthem, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did ^bprovidemeans for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

How bad can Sunnyvale be?  We won't be wandering in the woods eating raw meat.  I need to "bear my journeyings without murmurings."  

This is actually something we've always wanted to do.  We've been talking about leaving Happy Valley and living with our kids in the mission field since we were dating.  I remember distinctly the feeling I had my first Sunday back in my home ward after my mission. I felt like I needed to be somewhere else.  It's hard to explain, but I just felt like I needed to be somewhere else.  I arrogantly assumed it was so that I could strengthen a ward or branch.  I'm realizing that in this circumstance, I'll probably be the service opportunity for awhile once the baby comes.

By far the hardest thing is leaving the people we are the closest to: family, and our neighbors and friends.  Here, our lives revolve around some really lovely routines: school, preschool, playdates, romping about the neighborhood with beloved friends, weekly family dinners, lunch with my mom and sisters, etc., etc.  It's hard for me to even imagine WHAT I'll do each day.  I know we'll establish new routines, and find ways to maintain relationships at home, it just all seems so BIG.

I found myself thinking/worrying/ pining for my tulips in my yard.  How could spring really come if I didn't see them pop out?  Do they even have spring in Sunnyvale?  Then I imagined myself as a tulip...every year enjoying the cycles, the predictability.  Until one day someone ripped me out of the ground and chucked me as far as they could across the country.  I kind of feel like a tulip hurtling through space...a pregnant tulip hurtling through space, with 3 other kids and all our stuff.

Somehow I need to get to the point where I'm cool with that.  This is kind of hard, and scary.  I feel like a total spiritual wimpy failure.  I'm working on feeling like this scripture from Isaiah 40:1.

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I'm totally not there.  In fact, I feel kind of weary and faint most of the time, but I'm trying to envision myself like an eagle soaring...instead of a screaming, pregnant tulip.  It's kind of like my own brand of "hypno-moving," not to be confused with "hypno-birthing."

I know it's the right thing, and that is comforting...and lots of people are helping us get ready. (A huge thanks to our regular support team).  And, I know that there are wonderful friends to meet out there. We are praying for chances to share the gospel, and for an awesome mind-expanding experience for all of us.  I know we are going to be fine.  I think it will even be fun.  It's strange because I feel guilty when I feel excited because I really am heartbroken about leaving, and I sense profoundly the importance of the relationships we will be leaving behind.  I also feel guilty feeling heartbroken, because then I feel like I don't have any faith.

I need to read and study some more to find the right way to reconcile all this.  Any suggestions are welcome!

So, I'm going to try to revive this poor little blog of ours.  I want to share this adventure with anyone interested, and I'm hoping to build some support roots to help us as we try to grow our wings.

Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas Tree!

Posted by JT , 11.20.2010 6:40 PM

Christmas season has come a little early to our house. We braved the wind, snow and cold today to go up into Uinta National Forest to cut down a Christmas tree.



It's probably one of our favorite family holiday traditions. This year even though the weather wasn't great, we still had a ton of fun. There's a phrase in Finland (so we hear) that says there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. Good thing we dressed well and kept dry.



Heather held Droolicus, Sissy and Brother took turns walking, riding in the sled and being carried as we tromped through the snow in search for our heathen-inspired holiday decoration.





We normally wander around for an hour or two looking for a tree, but this year we found a couple of good candidates quickly. This year's Christmas tree is a little goofy and two dimensional with a handful of trunks and two tops. It's got a couple of dead branches that just add to the charm. We really like non-traditional Christmas trees. I guess we're just wired weird. :)





Utah's got the best-tasting snow on earth--at least that's what brother thinks. Yum.



We weren't out for very long, but the kidlets were all happy to get back to the car and get warm again.





Thanks to our snow chains, we didn't get stuck. We made it up and back pretty easily.



The tree's propped up in our yard right now camouflaged by all the other trees in our yard. We'll put it up in a couple weeks and it might warrant another blog post. But don't get your hopes up. :)

laters!

Does anyone have a Spike the Ultra Dinosaur?

Posted by JT , 9.25.2010 12:05 PM

I'm looking to borrow a remote for Spike the Ultra Dinosaur for a few hours.

So, with a wild look in my eye, last week I bought a Spike the Ultra Dinosaur from Savers (a local thrift store) for $7. It retails for $130-ish and is chock full of awesome electronics, motors, IR sensors, microcontroller, lights and other stuff. Here's a link: http://bit.ly/clFDQG

I first bought it so I could steal all the parts from it, but upon bringing it home, my kids _really_ want to play with it before I disassemble it. I got to thinking it'd be a fun project to reverse-engineer the infrared remote protocol and create a new remote from scratch (that I could control with a computer). I think it'd be fun to give small-brained Spike an IQ upgrade by hooking it up wirelessly to my computer.

Anyway, that's where I'm at a loss. I don't want to have to brute force the protocol, that could take a _really_ long time. I was hoping someone I know would have a Spike dinosaur and would loan me the remote for a few hours. I won't take it a part or anything :). I just need to read the infrared signal that it outputs when you push each of the buttons. I record the signal and that's that. You can have your remote back.

If you have a remote for Spike the Ultra Dinosaur and would be willing to indulge me, please let me know. I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

JT

Anyone wanna buy our awesome house?

Posted by Heather , 9.15.2010 11:47 PM

Mommy Update

Posted by Heather , 5.12.2010 12:58 AM

Happy Mother’s Day (a couple of days late)!

It seems fitting to do my little update today, especially since the whole past weekend was so awesome. We have a tradition of going to Park City and staying overnight with just “the girls” and then shopping at the outlets for Mother’s Day. It truly is a lovely tradition. This year we had a smaller group, and missed those who weren’t there, but we still had a great time. We used coupons and ate at two of my very most favorite restaurants (Fratelli’s and Bangkok Thai on Main). It was oh, so tasty, and it’s so much cheaper paying for just one person (especially when using coupons). We had a fun day shopping and found some great finds. Mumford got to come this year, and he was a super trooper. We didn’t get home till 11 pm Saturday night. I was a little nervous about how everyone (and the house) faired without me. I was pleasantly surprised to find the house clean, and the kids in bed. While I was gone JT and the kids built square foot gardening boxes, heart-attacked my bed, and made me an awesome Mother’s Day present. Maybe I should leave more often! Just kidding, Sweetie.

For many years I DREADED Mother’s Day, so I understand how un-fun of a holiday it can be. This year I had a really great day. I feel very blessed to be a mother. My heart has been very full the past few days. I just can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love my little family.

We’ve been working through some pretty intense stages with Bro. and Sis. Some days I feel pretty good about my efforts, and some days I feel like a complete failure. It has been very humbling, and I have felt more driven to rely on the Savior to help me overcome my own weaknesses and learn how to respond to situations in a more Christ-like way. I have been studying about parenting a lot in the scriptures and conference talks, and it seems like the last general conference, and our Stake Conference were directed to me and the struggles I have been facing. What a rollercoaster it is to be a parent of young kids. You can go from feeling feelings of exhilaration to devastation in the same day, afternoon, or even interaction. It is never my kids that “devastate” me, it is my reaction to their very normal behaviors that makes me feel so discouraged. I just want to be a good mom.

I really do love my life right now. I know this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. It is hard, but it is worth it. The other day JT and I were talking and he asked me what I would want to be doing with my life if time and money were not an issue. I thought about it really hard and realized that I am doing EXACTLY what I want to be doing right now. I don’t need more time; we have sufficient money. There is no other work I would rather be doing than being home with my kids.

I think it is really easy to “wish-away” stages and not live in the moment. I know I have that tendency, but I really don’t want to do that. I only get to be mortal once, and I only get to be a mom to my kids once. This is my one chance to teach them and influence them in such an intense way. This is the only time when I will be the center of their existence. It is a huge responsibility and can be very draining, but I don’t want to have any regrets.

I want to teach my kids to love the Lord, to be independent, to serve others, to create, to sing, to dance, to love. I know that as they grow older and more independent, and I become less influential in their lives, I will look back on this time with sweet fondness. I don’t want to murmur away the joy that can be mine now.

So, I’m trying. Everyday I try to do my best. There is a lot to do. I say that, realizing that my position is not unique. Every person on the planet has their fair share of challenges. For me right now, it is keeping all the bodies in my care fed, clean, and somewhat civil. It is a lot of work and I love it.

Giggling Mumford and Mom

Sissy Update

Posted by Heather , 5.03.2010 10:22 PM

Sis is full of life. She is running from the time she wakes up until she crashes at night. She really does reminds me of Olivia the pig. “She is really good at wearing people out. She even wears herself out.”

She is a socialite and loves to be where the people are. She eats preschool and primary right up and tells me all about what they did and what she learned. She is my shadow and “go-fer” and helps me all day long. She is really good at cooking and especially likes to crack eggs and run the blender.

Ever since she was a little baby she has been a little clumsy and accident-prone. She still is. Add to that her love for adrenaline and you can imagine how many awesome accidents we have a day. We recently discovered that she has a lazy eye and she’s been wearing a patch over one eye for a couple of hours a day. Whenever someone asks if she’s okay (it looks like a band-aid). She lets them know that she has a “lazy eye.” I was hoping that straightening out her eye issues would help with her clumsiness. The doctor told me not to count on it…dang.

She loves to dance, wrestle, and make art projects. Nearly everyday we make something at our house. Her idea of the ideal project is anything that includes paint, scissors, glue, and tape (especially painter’s tape, the blue kind). She makes lots of cards and crafts for people.

She loves to get presents and new stuff, and she remembers what people gave her. She often reminds me who gave her what clothes and toys as she gets them out. She filled her marble jar (our current rewards program) and got to go get the vacuum she’s been saving up for. It took about 2 months, but it was totally worth it. She was so funny when we went to get it. She would stop everyone we passed and tell them that this was HER vacuum and that she earned it.

Her favorite word is WHY. I would estimate she uses it about 500 times a day, at least. Sometimes she really is curious, but sometimes I think it is just a habit. My favorite thing she does is makes a statement, then ask “why?” For example, she might say something like this: “Eating oranges is my favorite. Why?” or “We went on a field trip today. Why?” You get the picture. I find myself explaining all kinds of natural phenomenon and social/cultural traditions all day. But, a lot of the time I really don’t know why, or I giver her the classic answer, “because I said so, and I’m the mom.” She doesn’t like either of those answers.

She is irresistibly cute—with her beautiful smile and mischevious giggle. She loves to tease and joke and, unfortunately she has a pretty crude sense of humor. I blame that on JT. I love it when she comes and snuggles with me and Mumford in the morning. What a sweet, sweet, sissy. I’m so glad to be her mommy. Oh, and she wants to be Hello Kitty for Halloween with Mumford.

Palo Update....

Posted by Heather , 5.01.2010 11:36 PM

Brothy has also been busy. He and Sissy started preschool this year, and Sunbeams. I can’t believe how grown up they are both getting.

Brother loves Mumford and he is learning how to “be soft” with him. He has an awesome imagination and lives in his own little world that is mostly made up of princesses, Dora, and Thomas the Train. He loves to dress up in his “Sleeping Booty” dress. He can’t watch any shows with music in them without a dress on to dance along. Unfortunately, his pink sparkle shoes are officially too tight. He’ll have to make do with his gold ones, and his collection of plastic heels.

He loves to color and is amazingly good at it. He will sit for hours working on the same picture. Sometimes he colors using ballpoint pens, which makes it take even longer.

He does everything at his own pace, and doesn’t like to be hurried. It is not unusual for him to take over an hour to eat a meal, especially breakfast. This makes getting to preschool a challenge.

He is very funny and loving. He and Sissy love to pretend to go camping, to the store, and California. He gets fixated on toys/items and carries them around. This usually is his box of Thomas trains, or DVD cases. Lately, he has filled his backpack up with Clifford Pull-ups and insists on sleeping with them and carrying them around because he likes to look at all the different scenes of kids and dogs playing on them.

He loves to read books and has memorized many of his favorites. He also is really good at remembering lyrics to songs. His favorite music to listen to is the “Hairspray” soundtrack.

He is a sweet, tender boy. How grateful I am to be his Mama. Oh, and he is planning on being a vampire for Halloween with me.